Saturday, April 5, 2008

Damn Dirty Apes!

Last night AMC showed Planet of the Apes. I'd never seen it before, and for some inexplicable reason I felt the need to watch it. At least to get the jokes.

All I can say is:

I really didn't quite know what I was in for when I committed to watching it. I'd probably seen a couple clips and heard lots of people making fun of it ... and rightly so, but I didn't really know the story or the ending.

In addition to being really, really strange, I thought the story was a little uncreative. Ok, so apes and humans switched places. Basically everything that was an issue for the apes in the movie has at one time been an issue for humans in real life. Every debate we've had concerning religion/science/evolution was the exact same debate for the apes. They even called Charlton Heston the "missing link." Couldn't they come up with a new phrase?? Plus they spoke English. I was a little disappointed that they couldn't produce something more original! Pretty much any 5 year old could come up with the same concept.

And why, why did the apes ride horses?? Couldn't they come up with some other animal that real life humans don't ride? Just for something more interesting. Maybe a buffalo.

And why can't the humans speak? If they really lived long before these apes as we do now, did they like devolve and loose the ability to speak? Doesn't make sense.

I'm also not quite sure what the point of the movie was. Are we supposed to feel bad for the animals in the zoo? Do they want to convince us that evolution is true and someday a talking ape is going to show up and be the missing link? Is it supposed to prepare us for the day that apes inevitably take over the world?

Ok, there are a lot of unanswered questions here. Perhaps if I bothered to find answers to them, I'd have much more respect for the movie. But I don't plan on taking the time for that. I'm pretty sure it's one of those movies only men can understand. And I'm ok with that.

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