Top Ten Reasons I Love Old Movies

10. Corny jokes. Sometimes you just need a corny joke in a world where everyone's always trying to be clever and witty and off-color. Yes, a corny joke may be super cheezy and kind of embarrassing, but I bet you'll still laugh at it.

9. Gayness. Yeah, they say "gay" a lot in old movies. It's a little bit funny every time.

8. Memories. No, I don't have memories of seeing these movies when they originally came out in the theater, but I do have great memories of watching them as a child and singing and dancing along with the musical numbers. Every viewing brings back some warm fuzzies.

7. Trailers. Have you watched some old movie trailers? They're almost as entertaining as the movies themselves. Especially when they're announcing "the most unusual picture in many years."

6. Cary Grant. What else do I have to say?

5. Scary, but not too Scary. I can't watch these new-fangled horror movies. They are violent and disturbing and give me nightmares. But I can take some Psycho any day. Old scary movies are scary, yes, but not so gratuitously graphic.

4. Singing. Old movies have great songs. And great singers. They can't be beat by these wannabe singers/actors who come around today with their mediocre voices and lack-luster songs. MGM Musicals especially had it down. They knew where to place a song in the movie and how to stage a highly entertaining musical number. Perfection!

3. Dancing. Kind of goes with the singing. But seriously, Fred Astaire, Gene Kelly? It doesn't get much better.

2. No sex. I'm not that into watching people have sex. I appreciate that in old movies, I do not have to witness this.

1. They make me happy! Probably for all the reasons listed above.

Why do you like old movies?

Vincent Price + Tim Burton

A friend of mine sent me this video, knowing my affinity for Vincent Price. It's kind of awesome and definitely worth a watch. Or two. Or three.



Meanwhile, last weekend I thoroughly enjoyed watching House on Haunted Hill on TV. It had been awhile since I'd seen it, so I was overjoyed when I happened to flip to it. It was fantastic, as always, and even more-so given the fact that I was rather over-tired and a little loopy. Old movies are always better taken that way.

The only downside was it was playing as part of one of our local channel's ridiculous "Svengoolie" programs which featured multiple airings of the most terrible commercial I've ever seen, advertising a t-shirt with a giant chicken shooting lasers out its eyes.

Back to the Future

Ok, Back to the Future might not quite count as an old movie, but let's face it: it's 25 years old already and it's pretty much a classic. Still, I wouldn't typically write about it, except that I recently had a close encounter with some of the actors in it (no, not Michael J. Fox, stop asking!).

Last weekend the Hollywood Palms theater in Naperville, IL showed the film, along with appearances by Christopher Lloyd, Lea Thompson, the dude who played the principal, and the chick that played Michael J. Fox's girlfriend. We didn't pay the $20 per signature to get anything signed, but we did stand around and took some stalker pictures. I love my 10x zoom camera!


Then before the film, they all came in to talk about the movie.


They all shared a famous line of theirs from the film (some of them (the girlfriend) didn't really have any famous lines, but everyone humored her anyway). Then they talked about their memories and stories, etc. It was all very fun. Christopher Lloyd is surprisingly normal and quiet and basically looks the same as he did in the movie. Lea Thompson is surprisingly (or not) crazy and still looks pretty hot. The principal guy was super old, but seemed nice. And the chick who played the girlfriend had some crazy jeans on.

Lessons from The Harvey Girls

Whenever I'm home sick I like to watch Judy Garland movies. Somehow sick days and Judy movies just go together. It's especially great if you're a little drugged up or not quite coherent so the musical numbers are extra trippy.

Last week I took a sick day and watched Summer Stock and The Harvey Girls, two classics that I've loved since childhood. Maybe that's why I like watching them on sick days, they make me feel all warm and fuzzy.

Anyway, while watching The Harvey Girls I had some deep (if mildly incoherent) thoughts about the women portrayed in this movie, and how men react to them. It's all about confidence. The Harvey Girls blow into town, having the guts to pick up and leave their families and be the pure and innocent, non-sluts in a town that only knows sluttiness. They're sure of who they are and demand to be treated with respect (as illustrated by Judy's gun-toting escapade to get their meat back). And so the men do treat them with respect and try to earn the girls' respect in return. Then they all get married.

On the other hand, the saloon skanks are insecure and pathetically desperate for the guys' attention. And when they're faced with competition from the Harvey Girls, they get even more pathetic and the men quickly flock to the Harveys because nobody wants a slutty, insecure, desperate women. Then none of them get married.

So ladies, if you want to get a man, quick acting like Angela Landsbury and start being a little more Judy. Then you will steal the dreamy-if-not-a-little-shady man those insecure, skanky girls have been pining over and send them packing while you live happily ever after. The End.

Yes, Christopher Plummer Hates The Sound of Music

Ok, that may not be completely true. This post is really just an experiment of sorts.

By far, one of my most popular posts on this blog is about Christopher Plummer's dislike of the children and just about everything else associated with The Sound of Music. He made his opinions perfectly clear on the 40th Anniversary DVD special features.

Now, every time The Sound of Music is on TV I get a HUGE spike in traffic and I'm perplexed. Do people suspect that Christopher Plummer hated the movie just from watching it on TV? I suppose this is a rumor that's just floating around out there and after watching the film, people want to know about it? I don't really know.

So, please tell me, if you've found this page after viewing The Sound of Music and you suspect that Christopher Plummer hates everything about the movie, what gave you that impression?

Last time it was on TV, I got almost 500 page views in one day. Quite a far cry from my usual 30 to 50 :)

Slaps with the Wind

So I watched Gone with the Wind last night for the very first time. I liked it way more then I thought I would. Actually, I really liked it a lot. It managed to keep me entertained, despite the four hour running time. I would definitely recommend watching it if you haven't seen it. It is quite a time commitment, but I think it's worth it, if only to be able to say that you've seen it.

There's a lot I could praise about this movie—the acting, the music, the writing, the story, and so on. It's all great. But the real reason for it's greatness is ... the slapping.

That's right, this film is chuck-full of slapping. Slapping men, slapping slaves, slapping children, slapping animals. No one is safe from the slapping machine known as Scarlett O'Hara.

If you haven't seen it, you're probably wondering why all the slapping. Well I will tell you. Scarlet is crazy. I didn't really realize this coming into the movie. I thought she was just a somewhat-flirtatious-but-still-generally-lady-like kind of girl. Not so! She's completely self-absorbed, conniving, and kinda skanky. Skanky in a subtle sort of way. Subtle enough that nice, innocent, unsuspecting men go marrying her, only to end up getting insulted and slapped.

Then comes Rhett Butler. Definitely the most perfect (and most dreamy!) man for Scarlett and one of the few that could match her in arrogance and cockiness. And still he doesn't quite dodge the slapping bullet. However, the second time he sees her winding up for a blow, he ducks, sending her tumbling down their ridiculously high staircase. Check and mate.

There's only one thing better than the slapping in this movie: Mammy! This lady is awesome. She always tells crazy Scarlett what's what and she even earns the respect of Rhett. And, most importantly, she's one of the few people who never gets slapped.

Such an Interesting Mixture of Poetry and Meanness

So I have this friend at work who hasn't been exposed to many old things. This isn't unusual for people my age, but lucky for her she gets to share an office with me! Anyway, I've convinced her to watch some old movies and she seems to enjoy them. However, her main comment about the Judy Garland movies she's watched (2 I think) is that Judy is mean.

At first I denied this accusation against Judy, but the more I thought about it, the more I realize it may be true. I hope this isn't a spoiler, but Judy generally yells at, insults, or beats up the men she's about to fall in love with. Let's take a look at some specifics:

For Me and My Gal - Judy really hates Gene Kelly at the beginning of this one and she spouts out some zingers like, "Who's the want ad with the squirrel around his neck?" before she even meets him.

Meet Me in St. Louis - Judy spends an excessive amount of time and energy on trying to capture John Truett's attention only to beat him up over the false accusation that he hit her sister. Classic.

The Harvey Girls - I was going to suggest this as a non-violent Judy movie until I remembered her trying to shoot the bartender at the saloon and the huge cat fight in which she takes down Angela Lansbury.

In the Good Old Summertime - This one is a war of words. And maybe some injuries along the way. Off the top of my head, Judy yells at Mr. Larkin multiple times, slams his hand in the piano cover, hits him in the face, and (my personal favorite) likens his intellect to a "metronome that doesn't work very well."



So there you have it. Judy is kinda mean. In her defense, in many of these cases the men have brought at least some of it on themselves. Nevertheless, Judy's great at freaking out and isn't that why we love her? Annnd now I want to watch a Judy Garland movie.